Attention all work restroom masturbators

Hi.

I’ll have to do a nexus search on this, but I think this might be the first time ever you have been addressed as a group.  Perhaps we should take a moment to appreciate the occasion.

Ok. 

First of all, I just want to tell you that I don’t judge you in the slightest.  I really don’t.  While I don’t have the guts to join you in your hobby, I respect the motivation.  How the hell couldn’t I?  You’re at work, getting paid to jack off.  You are living the most honest version of the American Dream ever contrived. 

I do have one bone to pick though:

Flush the fucking toilet.

How hard is that to understand, and why do so many of you not get this?  No one, absolutely no one, wants to see that when they go to the bathroom, not even you’re girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse — especially not them; otherwise, you’d likely be doing this elsewhere, right?

Thank you for your understanding on this one, and have good night, you beautiful, malformed, freaks.

Ben

PS:  I’m back for a while.

PPS:  If this seems a little disrespectful in the face of Bhutto’s assassination, well, get bent.  Too many people have died this year for me to mourn the passing of an elite with much vigor.  Her death is sad, but what is sadder still is the all the death and mayhem that may come as a result of it. Save your tears — the future needs them.